Helping Spiritual Children Grow

The next stage of discipleship is Spiritual Children. Just as one of the defining characteristics of young children is selfishness, spiritual children are immature Christians who are mostly focused on themselves rather than others. They are Christians, yet they struggle to fight against their selfish desires. Too often they give into them; resulting in bad choices and bad consequences. The Church of Corinth is an example of a church with numerous Spiritual children. What are the three essential connections that a disciple-maker should help spiritual children make? They need to Connect to God, God’s Family, and to God’s Purpose for their life. Let us consider these in more detail.

Connect to God: Learn Humility 

Spiritual children need to learn humility. God given humility fights against selfishness by reminding you of your worth in relation to God. Dr. Phil’s famous catchphrase is: “It ain’t about you!” Spiritual children–much like actual children–tend to be more focused on themselves, their desires and preferences, than on anything else. Therefore, it is essential for Spiritual children to grow in maturity as they turn from a self-focus towards a God-focus. How does this occur? They must embrace the fact that the universe does not revolve around them. They must accept that Jesus Christ is the boss. Jesus is King of Kings. He is the Owner of everything and everyone. We live for Him, not for ourselves (2 Cor 5:15). We must consciously avoid selfishness. We do this by putting Christ first (Phil 1:21-22). We remember our own sinfulness (Luke 18:13-14), unworthiness (Luke 15:17-21), and limitations (1 Kings 3:6-14). We also consider God’s holiness (Is 6:1-8) and His righteousness (Phil 3:4-9). Selfishness is not loving (1 Cor 13:5). Spiritual children need a greater awareness of God.

Connect to God’s Family: Learn Sympathy 

Spiritual children need to learn sympathy. As we grow in humility, we will also grow in sympathy towards others. Daniel Handler (also known as Lemony Snicket) quipped, “It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.” Spiritual children need to grow in sympathy towards those who are not Christians and especially towards those who are. Selfishness is avoided by seeking the good of others (1 Cor 10:24). We are told in the Bible to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep” (Rom 12:15). Sympathy is manifested in bearing other’s burdens (Gal 6:2, Heb 13:3), expressing sorrow (John 11:19-33), offering help in need (Acts 20:35). Sympathy, compassion, and mercy work together. This is powerfully illustrated in Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10). The Samaritan had compassion on the man beaten by robbers and showed him mercy. 

A sign that God’s love dwells within us is that we show Christ-like patience with those around us. Spiritual children need to learn with patience and those who teach them need patience as well. Arnold Glasow said, “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” The Apostle Paul told the Ephesians, “walk in a manner worthy of the calling which which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph 4:2). They need to be taught and modeled self-giving and self-sacrifice. A key way to learn this is through peacemaker training. Ken and Corlette Sande have great material regarding this and they mention “The Five A’s of Confession” They write, “Children, like adults, can learn to confess their wrongs in a way that demonstrates that they are taking full responsibility for their contribution to a conflict.” The 5 A’s are: Admit, Apologize, Accept, Ask, and Alter. Specifically:

1. Admit what you did wrong. Recognize your sin is exceedingly sinful.
2. Apologize for how your choice affected the other person. Express remorse.
3. Accept the consequences. This proves you recognize your guilt in the matter.
4. Ask for forgiveness. This helps reconcile the matter and put it behind you.
5. Alter your choice in the future. John the Baptist said, “Bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (Matt 3:8).

This is important because conflict is an unavoidable fact of life. Sadly, many Christians do not handle conflict well because they have not been taught how to handle conflict biblically. Spiritual children need to mature from self-focus to others-focus. 

Connect to God’s Purpose: Learn Diligently

Spiritual children need to learn diligently the spiritual disciples so that they may mature in their faith. Hellen Keller said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.” Spiritual children need to develop new habits as they move from their old life before Christ to their new life with Christ. The Apostle Paul adds, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways” (1 Cor 13:11). Spiritual children need to persevere in these new habits. Some of the essential Spiritual disciplines are: 

• Bible Intake – We must hear, read, study, and meditate on the Bible regularly because it is God’s Holy Word. It is divinely inspired, divine instruction that is true and trustworthy.
• Prayer – Prayer is communication with God. It is the intentional act of speaking to and listening to the Creator of the Universe (God).
• Church Membership – Being connected to a local church is an essential aspect of your spiritual growth and we must make the Church a priority in our lives.
• Stewardship – Every Christian is accountable to God. In this section, we shall discuss four important responsibilities we have as disciples of Jesus Christ: to love, serve, give, and forgive.

In Ephesians 4:14, Paul says that we must strive towards spiritual maturity “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” If we are in the Spiritual child phase, let us grow in maturity. If we are disciple-makers, let us help Spiritual children grow. Let, first of all, pray for God to bring growth to Spiritual children.